Every day moments

We’re still just chugging along over here… If you follow me on instagram, you already see a good bit of our every day life, but if you don’t – then these pictures will be new for you.

Don’t worry, we are anchored in about 2 foot of water. We aren’t moving, and we are barely rocking. All babies were safe and secure.


I took Paisley outside & took some pictures when she turned 5 months old.
Chris calls this outfit her potato sack… lol

Not ready for her to be sitting up…and she’s getting to big for the boppy lounger, how unfortunate.. We love the boppy lounger.


hanging out on Saturday morning while we wait for Dada to wake up …. baby einstein for the win.. parenting at it’s finest.


Play time with Dada – Every night when Chris gets home, he takes Paisley until she’s ready to eat again. Usually during this time I either start dinner, or go to my office and work for a few uninterrupted minutes.


Enjoying a walk around our neighborhood – This was my last attempt at trying to get Paisley to nap today.. Let’s just say, it didn’t work. No way she could fall asleep and miss out on an adventure with Mama & Dada. Nope, not happening.

Life ain’t always beautiful, but it’s a beautiful ride

making time

There is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Pretty much every day for the last few weeks, and I’ve been meaning to post about it – but it’s kind of private, and while I think I’m pretty open about most parts of my life, I tend to keep my marriage private.

The internet is a ridiculous place, and some things are just sacred, and not for the world to see, or speculate about.

But I think this is important to talk about..

First, let me start out by stating the obvious,

BABIES ARE HARD.

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tired daddy

I’ve heard from other people that having a new born is rough on a marriage, and that post partum hormones are the devil in disguise. But you really can’t know how true those things are until you experience them yourselves.

Babies are these demanding little creatures that depend on you 100% of the time, 24 hours a day. Sure, they sleep, but when and for how long is anyone’s guess.

Life is so unpredictable, and unscheduled, and unplanned. Those are three things that I don’t handle very well. I’m not a super go with the flow kind of person – I need a plan. I need to know what we are doing, and when we are going to do it. Babies… they screw all that up. It’s a huge adjustment.

I don’t think you can really understand HOW BIG of an adjustment a baby is, until you have one. Then throw in the fact that I couldn’t drive or really walk …. So, not only could I not just hop in my car and run to the store because I had a new baby (who requires 6 million things when leaving the house, I couldn’t drive. So going to the store at all was out of the question unless Chris could go (or take me).

Prior to Paisley, it was Chris & Jena time all the time. Of course we had our own hobbies; I spent a lot of time running & working out. Chris spent a lot of time working on his boat – but we also spent a lot of time together doing things as a couple.

Enter Paisley.

Huh.

Chris & Jena kind of got pushed to the side.

We’ve argued/bickered more in the last 16 weeks than we have in 5 years of marriage (and 9 yrs together). Trivial stuff. some stuff that matters, but some stuff that was just trivial.

I don’t know how else to describe having a new baby other than, it’s just hard. It’s hard to find time for each other. I don’t even mean sex, I mean, just sitting down and talking – or watching a movie together.

Chris works, I work, Paisley needs 24/7 care, there is always laundry (mountains of it) to be folded, piles of dishes to go in the dishwasher – toys to be picked up, dogs to be taken care of.. The list of things that needs to get done is never-ending.

We let Chris & Jena time slide to the bottom of that list, when it should be at the top.

It’s weird to live with someone, and still miss them. I mean, I see Chris every single day – but I miss him. I miss the days before we had Paisley – don’t get it twisted, I love that kid more than I ever thought I could love another person, but I miss the days when we could be totally selfish and no one would suffer.

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So, if you have a little one at home, and you constantly want to shank your significant other, it’s okay – it’s normal. {Don’t actually shank them!} Sit down and spend some time together.

It’s just a phase.

Paisley will grow up, and we will look back and wonder where the time went.

 

re-evaluating

The older I get the, the more news I read, the more people I’m exposed to I’ve discovered that I’m

more curious

more accepting

 

I’m starting to re-evaluate.

Re-think what I previously believed

Doing my own research

Forming my own opinions instead of just agreeing with someone else

 

It’s eye-opening

I’ve been naïve

I’ll freely admit that

 

I’ve never lived a hard life

I’ve been blessed

I’ve worked hard

I’ve gotten lucky

 

Life is not cut & dry

Things are simply not black and white – I’ve previously thought this way.

 

Issues I’ve previously been against… maybe I’m changing my way of thinking.

I think I’ve always been compassionate – but only to a certain degree

maybe my compassion is taking a different route

time will tell

 

I’ve been blessed

I’m fortunate

I’ve worked hard

but I’ve also been lucky

 

I take relaxing very seriously

I woke up this morning at 4:45 thinking it was Monday; I woke Chris up and asked him if he had submitted his times to his boss “yesterday” because his boss is going on vacay and needed them a day early. I also asked him where he was working “today.” 

I don’t know how he managed a coherent response, but he said, “I’ll do it in the morning.” “It’s Sunday.”

Me, “It is?”

Chris, “isn’t it?”

Me, “Oh.. yeah. okay”   zZZzzzzZZZzzzz

Man. Glad it was only Sunday.

I’ve been looking forward to this weekend ALL month. This month has been a total blur, and every weekend has been filled with event after event after event.

June 1 – 2 : My BFF from HS moved back to town & my cousin had his graduation party, so I spent the entire weekend in Clermont

June 8-9 : My nephew turned 5; spent the entire weekend in Clermont

June 15-16: My sister & fam came over on Saturday. We went shopping then out to dinner w/ my Dad for Father’s Day. Sunday we headed to Lakeland to spend Father’s day with Chris’ dad. We got home WAY TO LATE for my old/pregnant ass.

THIS WEEKEND:  NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I’ve left the house three times. Went to get Chris a drink @ the store, went out to dinner & went to Target.


June 28-30 : Next Friday night Jenny & I are going to the Ke$ha & Pitbull concert in Tampa (this should be interesting).  On Saturday, Chris & I are planning on going Kayaking & on Sunday we are headed home to Polk county to celebrate a cousin’s baby shower.. (me, not Chris, but he is driving me).

The following week(end) I leave for NC with my sister & her kids. I think we are half crazy for driving 11 hrs with a 5yo & 9yo , but we’ll see.

The weekend in pictures:

relax1

1. I know it’s silly, but this little kid pool is a lifesaver on hot day!!
2. Diva is done. She says it’s toooo hot to play outside
3. We got cable this weekend so my ass has been parked on the couch
4. more proof of the ass parked-ness
5. Having some coffee on Saturday morning while Chris works on the boat.

 

Pregnancy related things:

— I’m 12 weeks as of yesterday; so almost to the 2nd tri
— As of now, all my regular shorts & jeans are uncomfortably tight.
— I ordered some maternity clothes from Gap & Motherhood Maternity.. Hopefully the shorts will get me through the rest of the summer.
— the nausea is gone. thank goodness.
— holding steady at my 3-4lb weight gain
— next appt on July 1.
— told Chris if it’s a boy I want to name him Beau Ceephus H … JUST KIDDING.. I mean, I did tell him that, but I wasn’t serious. Good thing because he shut that down real quick.
— We already have boy/girl names picked out.

 

I think that enough babble for one day; Hope your weekend was as relaxing as mine.

The real truth about what’s going on around here.

Apparently LiveWriter does not want me to preview my posts before i publish them; both times i’ve done this it’s resulted in a lost post.  So, I’m going to attempt this post, again, and hope that we make it into publishing.

I suppose I have kind of been ignoring my blog; not because I don’t like it anymore, but because I’m not doing anything and not doing anything leaves me with nothing to write. I’m not working out, and I do have a reason for that, and I’ll tell you why (even though it’s not even a really good reason).

WE ARE PREGNANT.. and by WE I mean ME..  I can’t decide if it annoys me when I say “we are pregnant” because technically, i’m the only one getting fatter in this equation, but it’s Chris’ kid, and he’s suffering (bc if Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy)EDITED TO ADD: I AM HAPPY WE ARE PREGNANT, BUT IT’S NOT ALL FUN AND GAMES. and there is nothing happy about getting fat in the summer in Florida. can I get an amen?  Thank goodness I’m not 9 months, right? Whew. I’d never leave the comfort of my air-conditioned house.

SO, yeah. I’m pregnant, and that has made me the laziest slug in the entire world. I think I’ve gone to the gym approximately ONCE since I found out on April 25th. …..like i said, laziest slug IN THE WORLD.

We found out at about 4 weeks on the dot; I wasn’t even late yet, but I was having a major bitch fit and decided I was either pregnant or about to start so I took a test and holy crap it was positive. I chugged some water and took another test, and the lines were faint, but they were there. DON’T WORRY, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF POSTING MY PEE STICKS. Plus they are on my iPhone that died.. 

Chris was out of town so I facetimed him and showed him the test, and he said, “What does that mean?” 

We were both pretty surprised – We were trying, so it wasn’t THAT big of a surprise, but man, I really expected it to take longer. AND let me just say, that I know we are SO BLESSED to have it happen quickly – I know there are many couples who struggle. 

I truly thought there was NO WAY it would happen right away because my cycles have been out of control since I quit taking birth control in November. That was TMI, right? Sorry. I’ll try to avoid to much TMI from now on.

Chris made me buy a digital test because he didn’t trust those lines.. so i went to wal-mart at 11pm to buy a digital and took it the next morning.. yep, still pregnant.

We were lucky to be able to have our first appointment when I was just 6 weeks; I know many places wait until 10-12 weeks.. that is just torture! The Dr. did an ultrasound, and while we couldn’t see a baby, we could see the sac, so that was kind of neat.

Our second appointment was on June 3rd, and at that time I was 9wks/2days; For whatever reason my OB isn’t contracted with my insurance to do regular ultrasounds, so we had to go somewhere else to get a “Dating” ultrasound done. My OB has a little hand held u/s machine so he uses that to show us the baby, then I guess for regular/more detailed scans we will have to go somewhere else.. that’s annoying, but i guess it’s okay since it’s helping my deductible to get met. (insurance talk, blech).

I’m currently 10wk/6days, and my estimated due date is January 5th, 2014 !! Crazy crazy crazy!

I had morning all day sickness from about 6.5 weeks to 9 weeks; the last 2 weeks have been significantly better. The week after we found out I ate pickles like it was my job. SO weird. I like pickles, but I’ve never wanted to eat pickles so bad in my life. Then I went through a ginger snap cookie & chicken nugget phase. I’m finally able to eat fruits & veggies again. It’s a miracle I didn’t gain more than 4lbs in the first few weeks.

don’t judge my crocs; i wear them around the house. /// regular jeans (which i had unbuttoned all day) & a maternity shirt

I think the hardest thing has been the changes in my body so far; I definitely notice I’m getting thicker, and that is hard. Pretty much none of my clothes are comfortable. Hallelujah for scrubs! I have a few pairs of maternity pants, and a few shirts, but I’m trying hard not to wear those yet. I know it’s silly, but whatever.

I’ve done pretty good at avoiding the scale. I’ve gained between 3-4lbs depending on the day; from what I’ve read, 5lbs is normal for the first trimester; so I’m okay with that.

I suppose this is as good of time as any to be pregnant; My sister is 16ish weeks, and one of my good friends is 13ish weeks, so we can all commiserate & celebrate together. Both of them found out what they are having so now I’m SUPER anxious to find out what we are having… It’s going to be a long 8 weeks.

So. I think that’s about it. that’s what’s going on around here. I’m just busy growing a little baby.

 

Enough about me, what about you. What’s new?

This is who I am

I am who I amOpinionated,
Fast car drivin
belt-buckle wearin
ripped up jeans loving
fishin’ hat wearin’
saltwater in my veins kinda girl
like me or not, this is who I am.

I’m not fashionable
I drive to fast, drink to much
laugh a lot
love even more ♥
hard to love,
last to give-in
biggest crybaby you’ve ever met
fiercely loyal
crazy compassionate
fantastic grudge holder
(recently posted on my instagram.. lovemybody_jena)

 

What I’m loving now

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I feel like I’m going through some weird transition/phase in my life. A phase where I just CRAVE peace & happiness..  Hold on while I get out my tie dye shirt, grow my hair into dreads, and hold up my peace sign while I walk around town protesting various things.

But seriously, I’m just craving tranquility.

 

I want to drive to the park every night & watch the sunset & pretend I know what I’m doing with my little Nikon camera.  I want to put my beer in a koozie, sit on my back porch and talk about anything & everything with my husband. I don’t want to study – that takes up to much of my time.

I want to read blogs that make me feel at peace – that offer words of wisdom & the Love of God.

Work is so busy lately, maybe that’s why I’m craving tranquility.  I’m busier than I’ve been in the last 3 years, and it’s an adjustment. I like being busy, but it’s an overwhelming feeling – I’ve forgotten how to prioritize what needs to get done first, and what can wait just a little bit longer.  I’m learning, I’ll get back into the swing of things – until then I’ll hold on for dear life, and do my very best.

 

A few weeks ago Lindsay from Hello Hue introduced me to a network of blogs, The Influence Network – I’m hooked. I go there every morning and click on one of the blogs, and discover a new blogger that I love.

A few blogs I’m loving right now:

Hello Hue: I absolutely LOVE Lindsay’s blog. She just radiates happiness. I love her bright clothes, and bubbly personality, and her adorable son  always makes me smile. PLUS, her Husbands name is also Chris, and anyone with the Husband named Chris is A-okay in my book !

The Tiny Twig: I JUST started reading her blog a few days ago, but I know I’m going to love it. I mean, c’mon, look at her 4 adorable BOYS!

Kimber Campbell: also a BRAND new blog to me, but she had a great post recently about holding our tongue & avoiding gossip. I am definitely guilty of saying to much sometimes.

Arielle Elise: her pictures give me the sense of tranquility that I’m longing for

 

I ALSO love:

The seasonal Starbucks Tribute Blend  – I made a special trip to target before work this morning JUST so I could get a venti tribute blend.. target is no where near on my way to work, but it’s THAT good, and I needed it.

Taking pictures of my dogs: They are so cute. Seriously, so cute.

things I love collage 1

 

That’ll do for tonight. I need to park by butt at the table and read a few chapters in my coding book.

at the end of the day

 

Chris was working in town today, so he got home fairly early. We spent a few minute playing Mario on the Wii, but decided it was to nice outside to sit inside on the couch. We packed up a few fishing poles & headed over to the creek to wet our line.

jenkins creek collage

We didn’t stay long & we didn’t catch anything, but it was nice to spend a few uninterrupted minutes together doing what we love to do.

just things

Things I’m thinking about today

I want:
abs
a boat
to be frugal
to save money
unlimited time to study for CCS-P
motivation to study for CCS-P
local friends
to cuddle with my Husband
people to be nice
to have meaningless conversations with my Husband
to enjoy the quiet

 

I don’t want to be part of a community that drags people down. There are enough naysayers in the world – I won’t be one of them.

 

I will remain patient when it comes to results
I will be a good friend

 

 

I’ve been in a weird/sappy mood for a while now – I’m in a really happy place

so grateful:
– for everything we’ve been given.
– for my family & friends.
– for my job, even on the days when I’m so overwhelmed I want to cry (today is a good example).

to have the choice of whether or not we want to sell – meaning, we don’t have to sell due to financial circumstances.

– to have financial stability

 

I want this place to be a place of encouragement and positivity & respect. There are many other places you can go to read negativity, I don’t want it here.

Oh no, not THAT number again

Last week I had a bit of a mental break down – I was feeling completely beat up by the number on the scale.

I know ~ Everyone says you shouldn’t focus on the number on the scale, but how your clothes feel.

You know how sometimes things are easier said than done? Well, this is one of those times.

 

Monday morning I weighed myself, and the number was higher than it’s been in months. I tried to shake it off since my eating over that weekend had been ridiculous.

Monday afternoon came & I was exhausted. I skipped the gym and did a short workout at home.

Tuesday came: weight still the same. Definitely feeling defeated. Exhausted again – went to the gym. Struggled through the entire workout ~ no motivation what-so-ever.

Wednesday: I gave up on the scale. I didn’t weigh myself anymore. It didn’t matter; agonizing over the number wasn’t going to help, but I was already defeated. I let myself eat whatever I wanted to eat, and do whatever I wanted to do. “What difference did it make anyways? I already weigh XXX, a few bowls of cereal won’t kill me.”

*************

 

Cereal is dangerous – I bought the cereal because it was on sale at Publix. I rarely keep cereal in the house because it’s a trigger – it sends me into a downward spiral of eating bad and thinking bad. I know better. I knew better when I bought it.

The good news is that I recognize that this is not normal, and that it’s a place that I go and need to come back from pretty quickly.

I let myself take the rest of the week off from the gym, and subsequently my eating was shit for the rest of the week. Huh, imagine that.

*********

So here we are, on Tuesday morning and I’m back. I’ve taken control of those feelings, and I’m moving forward.

I sat down on Sunday night and made a plan: a plan for how to move forward. How to take control of my feelings, how to ignore the number on the scale, and how to make this week a successful week.

 

I started Monday out by waking up at 4:30, having some coffee, then heading down to my gym and did some cardio. Starting the day out by sweating felt good – so cliché, but so true.

After work I headed to the gym for leg day ~ I love leg day.

 

workout:

squat (wide stance)      5 x 6
squat (narrow stance   5 x 6
leg press (plated)           3 x 12
hack squat                     5 x 6
bulgarian split squat    3 x 12
donkey kicks                  3 x 20 

 

The gym was PACKED. I mean PACKED. People everywhere. It felt like the assisted living bus got confused and dropped everyone off at the gym instead of the bingo hall down the road. I had to move things around so that I wasn’t standing around waiting ~ I hate this, but I guess that’s the price I pay for working out after work.

 

I’m changing up some eating habits this week, but more on that later. I need to get ready for work, or I’ll be late.