making time

There is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Pretty much every day for the last few weeks, and I’ve been meaning to post about it – but it’s kind of private, and while I think I’m pretty open about most parts of my life, I tend to keep my marriage private.

The internet is a ridiculous place, and some things are just sacred, and not for the world to see, or speculate about.

But I think this is important to talk about..

First, let me start out by stating the obvious,

BABIES ARE HARD.

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tired daddy

I’ve heard from other people that having a new born is rough on a marriage, and that post partum hormones are the devil in disguise. But you really can’t know how true those things are until you experience them yourselves.

Babies are these demanding little creatures that depend on you 100% of the time, 24 hours a day. Sure, they sleep, but when and for how long is anyone’s guess.

Life is so unpredictable, and unscheduled, and unplanned. Those are three things that I don’t handle very well. I’m not a super go with the flow kind of person – I need a plan. I need to know what we are doing, and when we are going to do it. Babies… they screw all that up. It’s a huge adjustment.

I don’t think you can really understand HOW BIG of an adjustment a baby is, until you have one. Then throw in the fact that I couldn’t drive or really walk …. So, not only could I not just hop in my car and run to the store because I had a new baby (who requires 6 million things when leaving the house, I couldn’t drive. So going to the store at all was out of the question unless Chris could go (or take me).

Prior to Paisley, it was Chris & Jena time all the time. Of course we had our own hobbies; I spent a lot of time running & working out. Chris spent a lot of time working on his boat – but we also spent a lot of time together doing things as a couple.

Enter Paisley.

Huh.

Chris & Jena kind of got pushed to the side.

We’ve argued/bickered more in the last 16 weeks than we have in 5 years of marriage (and 9 yrs together). Trivial stuff. some stuff that matters, but some stuff that was just trivial.

I don’t know how else to describe having a new baby other than, it’s just hard. It’s hard to find time for each other. I don’t even mean sex, I mean, just sitting down and talking – or watching a movie together.

Chris works, I work, Paisley needs 24/7 care, there is always laundry (mountains of it) to be folded, piles of dishes to go in the dishwasher – toys to be picked up, dogs to be taken care of.. The list of things that needs to get done is never-ending.

We let Chris & Jena time slide to the bottom of that list, when it should be at the top.

It’s weird to live with someone, and still miss them. I mean, I see Chris every single day – but I miss him. I miss the days before we had Paisley – don’t get it twisted, I love that kid more than I ever thought I could love another person, but I miss the days when we could be totally selfish and no one would suffer.

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So, if you have a little one at home, and you constantly want to shank your significant other, it’s okay – it’s normal. {Don’t actually shank them!} Sit down and spend some time together.

It’s just a phase.

Paisley will grow up, and we will look back and wonder where the time went.

 

still chugging along

Still here, still pregnant, in case you were wondering.

jena chris dec 2013

I’m trying hard to savor these moments before I have a tiny baby attached to me 24/7, but it’s hard.
It’s hard to be uncomfortable. It’s hard to have this pregnancy induced insomnia. It’s hard to go to bed every night and wonder, “is this the night?”
I’m not complaining, okay, fine… Maybe I am, just a little though.
I know we are blessed.
but, it’s still hard.
We are ready.
I don’t do waiting well, and well, here I am……waiting.

It’s 5:11am. I’ve been up since 4:30.
Chris is still asleep, the dogs are still tucked away in their crates; it’s just me, and all my thoughts.
I know there will come a day when I’ll think back to this time and say, “remember when……”
I’m sure there will come a time when I’ll miss all this alone time.
But, until then, I sure do wish this kid would make her arrival.
Any time now baby, any time.

So anyways, there’s not much to do at 5am so I spend a lot of time browsing blogs, or reading on my Kindle. I’ve been keeping my “Books Read” page up-to-date over the past few weeks. <yay for me!>

Over the weekend I finished, The Things That Keep Us Here, by Carla Buckley.
I will admit that this book freaked me the heck out. I’m not really the type of person to worry about natural disasters, or the zombie apocalypse (okay I don’t worry about that AT ALL) or anything that could leave me holed up in my house for months on end without electricity.. but this book made me want to go out and become a Doomsday Prepper.

The story is about a flu pandemic; it starts with birds, and somehow mutates so that it starts to effect people. The family in the story live in Columbus Ohio, where a huge snowstorm knocks out the power right before Thanksgiving and it stays out until sometime in February. They had power for a few hours one day, and then it was out again for ….. awhile. People were dying all over the place, people were breaking into other peoples homes looking for food.. it was intense.

Obviously there is a lot more that happens in the book, but by the end of this book, I was seriously starting to freak out about the lack of food we keep in the house. I should avoid these types of doomsday books & shows.

Next on my to read list are:
Chasing Fire, by Nora Roberts
The Measures Between Us, by Ethan Hauser

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A quick update on the meat-free dinners we had last week… It was somewhat successful. I think we had 3 or 4 meat-free dinners, all which were really good.

Monday night we went out to a hibachi grill (which was terrible) for my birthday. I had shrimp, Chris had steak & shrimp. The food itself was fine, the service was horrendous. I’ll never go back to that place again. It wasn’t even busy, but we waited an hour for the chef to show up…. pregnant lady + 1 hour wait = nope.

Tuesday night we had this creamy tomato spinach pasta. It was seriously good! Chris really enjoyed it, as did I – my only problem is that I think tomato based things are giving me acid reflux… sooo, obviously creamy TOMATO pasta is a problem.

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Wednesday night we had this veggie taco casserole, which I did take a picture of, but it’s ugly, so I’ll spare you. Also very good, but the chips get soggy if you try to refrigerate the leftovers.. I can tolerate soggy chips for one meal, but after that I just threw the rest away.

Thursday night we had pasta e fagiole-esque type soup. I subtracted the ground beef from the recipe to make it meat-free. Again, it was really good.. but I paid for it later. Dang you acid reflux. I actually didn’t realize it was tomato based foods that was causing the reflux until Chris pointed it out to me over the weekend. I thought it was the dunkin donuts pumpkin spice coffee… LOL.. Which, I guess it could be, but it’s more likely the tomato based things, since tomatoes are very acidic (according to Chris). My knowledge of these things is limited.

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I think that was the end of our meat-free dinners last week; Friday night we had a GIANT steak. Saturday night we had oysters & crab legs… delicious!

I have some meat-free dinners planned out for this week as well, but last night we ended up eating pancakes & eggs.. DON’T JUDGE! Don’t tell me you don’t eat breakfast foods for dinner sometimes…

I think that’s enough rambling for one day.

Happy Tuesday

I have nothing interesting to say, but some other people do.

Happy Day.. it’s actually pretty gloomy here so far. It rained last night, and the clouds are still lingering.

I have an OB appt this morning, so I’m just dilly dallying around the house, drinking coffee, eating breakfast, and reading blogs.

Random side note: The baby currently has hiccups, so that is weird. Well, at least I think it’s hiccups – I’ve been told it’s hiccups. The feeling is different than a regular kick, or movement. It’s a constant pulsing/thumping sensation in the same spot for several minutes – pretty much exactly like when we have hiccups. Very odd.

I’ve been thinking about this blog lately. The fact that I pretty much never post anymore, and that makes me sad. What makes me even more sad is that the lack of posting isn’t because I don’t have the time; it’s just because I have absolutely nothing going on. That is lame, right?

I’m sometimes envious of these bloggers that have boatloads of friends, and are always doing something – they always have something to blog about. I’m just sitting over here missing my Husband while he’s out of town and growing a baby. Nothing really all that exciting.

Sometimes I start a blog post, and then I think, “no one cares about that.” Don’t even waste your time writing that because no one cares. No one is interested in your favorite pieces of maternity clothes (indigo blue maternity shorts & jeans are where it’s at, FYI). No one cares about about you budget, and how you’re saving money. That’s not your niche, so don’t even try.

Instead of those posts, you get nothing, or you get this random, off the wall, I have to much free time this morning and I’m feeling whiny type of post. Lucky you. 

SO, since I’m not really writing anything of importance these days, I’ll give you a few links to posts that I’ve enjoyed lately.

5 things I like about…..being on a budget, from The Lady Okie
The Bald Ballerina, from Audacious Faith Wishes Granted: Theo and Beau All about instagram :: my most-loved photo editing apps, from Hello Hue
Just Shut up, from Recently Roached  — If you don’t read any of the others, read this one. and if you’re reaction isn’t WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE, then I must ask WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Other things you could do: 

Follow me on Facebook. I swear I don’t post that often, but I need 2 more likes.. so, do it. 
Follow me on instagram, because I love new followers & I love following new people.

8 things, because 10 is 2 to many

Things are chugging along pretty smoothly over here.

1. My sister went into labor last Wednesday (Oct 30) and my newest nephew was born at 4:41pm (I think). He is 6lbs 15oz of awesome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


2. My baby shower was this past weekend; when I first got pregnant the thought of having a baby shower made me queasy. Getting in front of a group of people makes me anxious and sweaty. I just don’t do well in big crowds of people, they freak me out. But, I think I did pretty well. I don’t have any pictures; there are some, but I don’t have any of them.


picked up this dress from TJ Maxx for my baby shower.
I actually had good hair that day – to bad it doesn’t always look that good.


3. On Sunday we went shopping for some more of the essential baby things that we still needed. Holy crap, babies are expensive. Why do they need so much crap?

I can’t remember if I’ve put up any pictures of the nursery, so here is one:


We LOVE the colors. So bright, and so beachy feeling. All the walls are coral, except for one, which we painted gray.

4. I don’t know where this is, but I want to go there…. ASAP

5. I do not take serious pictures (this is from my sister’s baby shower)

6. We did maternity photos a few weeks ago 

7. I am obsessed with baby GAP.. it’s bad.


BABY SKINNY JEANS!!!!!

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BABY SWEATER DRESS!!!! I haven’t bought this…….yet

8. French toast for dinner is always acceptable

 

You’re welcome for that post. Mind blowing stuff right there..

Progress is progress

I woke up at 4:30 this morning absolutely STARVING. I tried to go back to sleep but then I started thinking about maternity leave, and how complicated that’s going to be.. which is a fine thing to think about at 4:30 in the morning. Then P started throwing a dance party in my belly so I just gave up and got up. I made some scramble eggs & drank some orange juice.

I’m on an orange juice kick these days. CAN’T GET ENOUGH! Another thing I’m drinking.. MILK …and ice. Weird. I haven’t drank this much milk since I was baby.

Last night I was laying in unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep when I decided I was OMGSTARVING.. I told Chris I was hungry, and being the awesome Husband that he is, he got up and got me a snack with MILK & ICE. so odd.

24wks 5 days

I don’t know if P is going through a growth spurt, or if it’s my increase in exercise but I am starving all the time. It’s unbelievable.

In case you were wondering, Baby P is now 12.5 inches long (about the size of a corn) and weighs roughly 1.25lb.

I will continue to make stupid faces for the duration of this pregnancy.

Get used to it.

 

 

Random News for you, from me…. You’re Welcome

If you want to read something funny, go here.

Brain eating amoebas are real. I’m not being funny here, I’m being serious. You really have to be careful. This little boy died just by playing on a slip in slide in Louisiana.

I just don’t even know what to say about this tragedy at the Naval Yard.. devastating. WTF is wrong with people.

I do have something to say about the suicide of this young girl in Lakeland. KIDS, STOP BEING SO DAMN MEAN. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU HEATHENS? 

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I need this tank.. but not for $50.. that’s ludicrous

In other NON-headline making news…. I returned to the gym this past weekend… yes, yes I did.

I’m really trying to make an effort to exercise during the 2nd half of this pregnancy. I’m slightly scared that child birth is going to be hard work (LOL, Kidding. I KNOW it’s going to be hard) and I want my body to be prepared for the work.

Monday: 2 mi walk around the neighborhood
Wednesday: 2 mi walk around the neighborhood
Saturday: Gym. Treadmill & stationary bike

I attempted to run on the treadmill on Saturday while at the gym, but that didn’t go so well. I started having some pain at the bottom of my belly so I decided running probably wasn’t optimal at that time. I need to look around on the interwebz for a support belt.

Safe pregnancy exercise guidelines… just in case you need them.

and with that, I’m outta here.. probably going to make something else for breakfast.. WHAT?! Mama’s gotta eat!

Life lately

Happy Labor Day!

I hope this post finds you lounging on your couch, or in a pool, or somewhere that is not work.

We are blessed to have the day off, so we are just lounging around doing nothing. Well, I’m doing nothing. Chris is downstairs sweating to death while he paints his boat. His choice, not mine.

We just got home from a pretty uneventful 2 mile walk. The highlight of our walk was every time we walked past a particular house, a dog would be in the window barking at us; except the last time we passed… He was probably getting into something else. Like chewing the baseboard off the wall. Oh, only my dogs do that? Hmph.

 

So, life lately… It’s pretty normal around here. Chris was home last week, so that was nice. We got to eat dinner together every night, except one night, where I ate cereal.

I got my hair cut…..again. I swear I’m really low key when it comes to my hair; but the last hair cut I got (4+wks ago) was a total nightmare. The girl did a total hack job on my head. It is hard to tell in the pictures you see; mostly because you only ever see the side or the front, but if you were to really look at it, you’d be horrified. Trust me on that one.

I went to see my Aunt who has been cutting hair for longer than I’ve been alive, and who also has short hair – I had my fingers {and toes} crossed that she would fix this mess and leave me with some hair. She actually commented on how terrible the previous cut was. it was bad.

BAD HAIR

There were warning signs that this was going to turn out badly:

1. hairdresser says she’s hung over
2. she makes a comment that she hates cutting around ears..
3. girl who was mad at hair dresser came into salon while I was there and proceeded to smack talk.

In hind sight… I should have… done what? left? rescheduled? I don’t know. I definitely won’t be going back.

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Sunrise on Thursday morning

In other Life Lately news, I’m drowning in all things baby.. I can’t stop looking at ETSY !! SO MUCH STUFF! We got the nursery painted last weekend, and put her furniture in; Now we just need to put up some pictures, and get the rocking chair finished.

Speaking of rocking chair; I got this rocking chair from my Grandma last year when I went to NC to bring her & my grandpa home. It is in desperate need of new cushions. I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect cushions that will match the nursery. Rocking chair cushions are expensive !!!

Chris has decided that I can probably make my own cushions.. heh. He says, “We built our house (sort of), we are building a boat, I’m sure you can figure out how to make some rocking chair cushions.”    Yeah, we’ll see.

Here are a few things I’m looking at for her nursery:


Etsy shop: Rizzle & Rugee


Babybedding.com


Etsy Shop: Rizzle & Rugee


Etsy Shop: Beach Basket


Etsy Shop: Rizzle & Rugee

Obviously we have a beach/nautical theme going on. Would you expect anything else out of me? It took me a ridiculously long time to figure out what colors I wanted go to with, and what kind of beachy theme to go with. It’s kind of silly since Baby P really won’t care at all. The decorative aspect of the nursery is definitely more for the parents than for the baby. Oh well, it’s fun.

We bought a car..again

From the instant I found out I was pregnant, I knew my 350Z would have to go. A 2 door, 2 seat car would just never work with a baby. (It barely works without a baby)

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Our plan was to list the Z for sale on craigslist & auto trader – We thought that selling it private party would get us closer to what we owed vs. trading it in. Typically, you can sell your car private party for more than a dealer would give you for trade in.

Unfortunately for us, I think there is a small market for the 350Z; we got very few calls on my car. We felt it was priced fairly based on research, and other listings that we found.

The longer it was for sale, without any calls, the more anxious I became about being able to get rid of it before baby comes.

We considered becoming a 1 car family; I would drive Chris’ truck. He has a work issued truck so we didn’t need a vehicle for him to get back and forth to work. After lots of talking, and thinking we decided this wasn’t really feasible so we opted to start researching a 4dr sedan for me.

I started researching safety ratings, and reviews on all the cars I was interested in:

Nissan Altima: great mpg, great safety; don’t like the interior, not comfy on long car rides
Ford Fusion: good safety ratings, but felt a little small
Ford Edge: low mpg; a little more pricey than we wanted
Toyota Camry: low safety ratings- boring interior
Mazda 6: great safety ratings, nice interior, decent mpg (great price tag)
Mazda CX-7: great safety ratings, nice interior, low mpg, high price tag

I used Edmunds, Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, Kelley Blue Book & Auto trader to check out all the cars.

We test drove all of the above cars, except the Camry. It didn’t get great crash ratings, and Toyota never seems to upgrade their interior; so we crossed it off the list pretty quickly. The Fusion was sporty, and a great car, but it just felt a little to compact for what we were looking for.

The Altima is a great car; My sister drives one and that thing gets stellar gas mileage. However, I don’t care for the interior, and it wasn’t a super comfortable ride when we took it to NC a few months ago. I’ve never been interested in Mazda before, never even looked at them, but when I was searching for 4 door sedans the Mazda 3 & 6 popped up at a decent price. We crossed the Mazda 3 off almost immediately because it’s a pretty small 4 door car (in my opinion). We drove the Mazda 6 and I liked it well enough. I can’t say I was “OMG IN LOVE” with it. I’m still adjusting to the fact that I have to give up my 2dr coupes, and move into a 4 door car.

Ford Edge & Mazda CX7 : both are crossover SUVs. Both were really nice, and spacious. I liked them both, and had my budget been a little more I might have went for the CX7. The gas mileage also scared me off. I feel like I NEED to have good gas mileage – even though my commute is 24 miles round trip.. That’s, like, nothing. But, MPG was still a deciding factor so we opted to stick with the car.

We had no intention of buying when we went to the dealership. Remember, we still needed to sell my 350Z. We mainly went to look at & test drive the Mazda 6.. Well, if you know me (and you know the story behind the Z AND the F150) you knot that things NEVER go like we plan.

Long story short; The dealership ended up offering exactly what we had my car listed for on auto trader, then, due to a screw up at their corporate office, we ended up getting the Mazda 6 for cheaper than they wanted to sell it to us for.  (Thank you internet pricing and smart phones!)

After a lot of hemming & hawing, and anxiety we decided we should take the deal… after another hour or so we were the proud owners of a new-to-us 2010 Mazda 6.

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Fun fact about me: I can’t drive without tinted windows. I mean, I can.. but I don’t prefer it.  It creeps me out knowing that people can just look right in your car and see everything. Nope. Had to get those babies tinted ASAP. Worth every penny!

It is a big weight off my shoulders to know that the Z is gone and that we have a car that baby can safely ride in. Plus, our insurance went down and the car payment is about $90/mth less than the payment on the Z. Winning!

AND ALSO, I don’t know if this is a Florida thing or if all states honor this but; We had an extended service contract, theft protection & tire warranty on the Z… Since we traded the car in before it was paid off, we got a refund on what was left of the contracts. Our warranties were for 5yr OR 60k miles. We had the car 15 months, and put 20k miles on it. So we got 2/3 of what we paid for the contracts  back from the dealership we bought the Z from. That was AWESOME (and a really simple process).

hey

I can’t believe it’s been 11 days since I put up a post.. what the heck have I been doing? To be honest, not much.

In the last 11 days we:
– went to the gym

foam roll
– bought a new truck (2010 Ford F150 FX2)

car truck
– spent the 4 day Christmas weekend @ my Mom’s

mom christmas
– Chris wrecked his dirt bike (broken handle bar)

broke bike

– installed my new car stereo (!!)

radio
– laid in bed for 15 hours bc we both had a stomach bug

 

chkn noodle

 

so that’s pretty much it. The stomach bug hit us on Tuesday and we are finally starting to feel better today. I haven’t been able to get to the gym since Monday…which sucks.

I was planning on going today (friday) but my stomach was feeling a little uneasy, and I going to the gym just wasn’t appealing when I got off work.

I’ve been eating like crap – pretty much just eating whatever I feel like I can stomach (mostly bread).. Definitely ready to get back to the gym and lift some weights.

 

Hope you have a Happy {and safe} New Years!

a nightmare

It feels inappropriate to blog about anything other than today’s unthinkable tragedy in Newtown Connecticut.

Tragedy doesn’t feel like a big enough word for what happened today. It’s not heavy enough – there just isn’t a word to describe today.

My heart has been so heavy as I watched the news, and scoured the new sites for any new details.

It’s devastating.

I can’t even wrap my head around what these families, what this community must be feeling.

There’s really not much to say.

My thoughts and prayer are with this community as they clean up the pieces, and try to figure out why such a senseless act took the lives of their babies, and loved ones.

to thine own self be true

“To thine own self be true”  If you’re like me, you think that Reba McIntire sang this line in her song, “Fancy.” If you’re well versed in Shakespeare (or paid attention in English class) then you know that Polonius said this in Shakespeare’s play, Hamlet.

A great friend reminded me of this quote on Monday morning and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, and it’s so easy to get caught up .. so easy to start comparing ourselves to others, or only allowing people to see the very best parts of ourselves.

I try really hard to keep it real on my blog – I post ugly food pictures, and bad recipes. I start challenges knowing I probably won’t complete them. I go out in public wearing ratty clothes, and bright orange crocs. I drive a fast car, and sometimes I like to race people from a red light. I have body image issues. We work hard, and play harder. We spend more money on toys than we should, but you only have one life..and for the record, I’ve been saying that WAY before YOLO became popular. I don’t particularly care for running right now, and I’ve been feeling guilty about that for a while. but I choose not to feel guilty anymore. It’s my body, and my life, if I don’t want to run – I don’t have to, and no one will make me feel bad about it.

My Mom has always said that I march to the beat of a different drum.

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I’m a very non-confrontational person, so that might play into why I don’t understand the need for people to verbally attack other people.. I can’t understand why some people care SO MUCH about what other people are doing – and attack them if they think it’s wrong, or stupid, or whatever.

Nothing specific has happened to me – I frequent a few message boards, and the women (and possibly men) on these boards are so volatile. Attacking people over their hair style, where they buy their clothes, how many times they wear a particular dress, how far in debt they are, their relationship choices, and what they ate for breakfast.

Don’t we have other things to worry about? Healthcare reform, whether you are for or against it … It’s coming, it’s going to be big. The economic status (or lack there of) of our country, and a whole plethora of other problems …. Do we really have time to sit around and pick apart each other?

I applaud the people that are who they are – those that don’t conform just because a group of people have decided that they way they live their life isn’t good enough.

I’m not speaking of any one person – and I’m not speaking of any specific message board – I go on quite a few boards, and people are mean everywhere.

This actually wasn’t what I had in mind when I was thinking about writing a post with that quote as a title, but this has been bothering me for a while, and I guess I needed to say it.

 

…well, I think I’ll go now. I’ve got my bed time tea ready to go. I think I’ll go read the latest copy of Oxygen Magazine.

Good Night, and remember; To thine own self be true