just half

note: I wrote this Saturday morning, but set it to publish for Monday morning.

I’m sweating.

I know that is not even remotely exciting for most of you, but the sweat is not because it’s 90* degrees out on May 2nd, no, it’s because I went downstairs and ran on the treadmill !!!!!

I was feeling a little down this morning.

I used to wake up at 430am on purpose on Saturdays so that I could go to Starkey with my running friends and run.. Now, I am woken up at 5am by the sounds of a crying baby. She’s hungry, I’m tired and I really wish she would go back to sleep. It’s not going to happen, especially since she has figured out how to roll over. Rolling over is fun, being stuck on her tummy, is not.

I drag myself to her room, feed her, and then will her to go back to sleep. nope. we are up for the day…at 5am, on a Saturday, no run in site.. just me and a baby that will not go back to sleep.

I told Chris later on that I wish I could have just half of my old life back. I adore Paisley, and I wouldn’t trade her, and I wouldn’t change anything – but it is hard. I still follow my old running group on Facebook, and sometimes it’s tough to see everyone out on their Saturday long runs.

the days of putting on my shoes and going out the door for a run are over. Now I need to consider Paisley and her needs; when does she need to eat? when does she need to go down for a nap?

Even going downstairs to the treadmill takes planning..

After I laid Paisley down for her morning nap, I changed into running clothes and headed downstairs to run on the treadmill. I got 3 minutes into my warm up when I saw the lights on the monitor lighting up red… that means someone is awake and making noise. I ran upstairs, rocked her, and put her in the swing. I really prefer that she nap in her crib, but desperate times… I turned up the white noise, and she fell back asleep almost instantly.

I ran back downstairs and crossed my fingers that she would stay asleep so that I could get 30 minutes done on the treadmill. My pace was not fast, and I have no idea how far I made it, but I ran for 26 minutes! That’s a record since Paisley has been born. I’ll probably be sore but it will be worth it.

It felt so great to be able to run for 30 minutes, holy crap endorphins! Now I just need to remember what that feels like so I can make time every day to run. I think morning nap time might become Mommy & treadmill time.. Fingers crossed that Paisley cooperates with this plan.

I’m craving some normalcy; I know this is my new normal, but I would like my new normal to feel a little bit like my old normal.

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life ain’t always beautiful

Picture this…. you’re strolling (LOL) around target with your baby.. Just browsing the tiny baby clothes and wishing there was more money in the bank.. when you hear your baby toot.. it’s an innocent toot, but you know what follows that toot….

I’ve been a Mom for 13.5 weeks now..YOU WOULD THINK I would remember to bring the diaper bag in OR AT LEAST A FREAKING DIAPER!  Nope.

So we meander back out to the car to get a diaper, because I’m not done browsing, and I don’t want my sweet girl to sit in her own poop for long.. so we grab the diaper bag and head to the bathroom..

AND THE EPIC BLOW OUT OF ALL BLOWOUTS HAS OCCURRED IN TARGET.

I MEAN THERE IS POOP EVERYWHERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!

I send out a :::red alert::: text message to my Mom friends.. it really should have been an

 

SOS SOS SOS alert…

because I mean….

there was just so much poop.

how does this even happen? Contents under pressure? Holy smokes little girl! Your Daddy would be proud (grossed out, but proud).

It was all the way up her back to her neck.. IM NOT KIDDING! I would show you pictures, but that’s taking it a little bit to far..

yes. I took pictures. THAT HAD TO BE DOCUMENTED!!!

Poor Paisley. I had to strip her all the way down to her birthday suit, IN TARGET!

We’re laughing about it now.. but it was pretty traumatic.

 

Life ain’t always beautiful…..

….. but it’s a beautiful ride