I love my job, I really do, and most of the time I really like my patients. I’ve mentioned before that I will go out of my way more often than not, to accomodate patient requests.
You want me to schedule that appointment for you… sure, i’ll do it.. Want me to pick up that CT scan CD on my way to work… sure, i’ll do that too. Would you like some coffee while you wait for the Dr? No, I don’t have any made, but i’ll make some if you’d like some… but call me on Wednesday, request and appointment for Thursday, and then demand surgery on Friday..
Wait a damn minute, who do you think I am here? Look, I can do all sorts of things, I can make appointments, and schedule surgeries, I can even beg your insurance to give an auth for something, but I can’t clear the OR schedule or the anesthesia teams sschedule so you can get your gallbladder taken out 1.5 days after you called to make an appointment.
maybe I can
I’m good. I’m so damn good I made that happen. Yup. Patient called on Wednesday, got an appointment for Thursday, and I even begged the OR scheduler to schedule the surgery for Friday, bc ill be damned if I’m going to listen to someone cry on the phone bc I couldn’t get their surgery scheduled.
side note: this is an established patient. this would not normally happen. My Dr. is supercalafragalisticexpealladocious THOROUGH –usually there is a work up to be done, blah blah blah..but the patient was recently in the hospital and already had the full workup. I really can’t clear the OR schedule, or the anesthesia teams schedule. this patient just got lucky. ….
side note number two: I really don’t love myself that much that i just wrote an entire post talking about how awesome I am. this whole event stressed me out. I don’t do people that are all, “ZOMGGGGGGG IM IN SOMUCHPAINICANTEVENFUNCTIONNNNNNNN … PLEASEEEE SCHEDULE ME TODAYYYYYYYY” They stress me out. Plus, gallbladder symptoms are so googlable I have a hard time really believe people are in as much pain as they say they are. They know JUST the right things to say. (such a pessimist). “Why yes Dr. it does hurt in my right upper quadrant” “Oh, and yes, it does radiate towards my back.” “And y’know, now that you mention it, greasy foods do exacerbate the problem.”
Thank-you Dr. Google & Wikipedia.
I wrote this to get it out of my system. i actually wanted to cry & laugh simultaneously while this patient was here. they were all up in my face about this,that & the other. I can only do so much. i dont know what the OR schedule is, and no I don’t know how late pre-op sees patients, and i’ve never heard of the Anesthesia team seeing someone after 5. and no, for heavens sake you can’t skip pre-op, what world do you live in? give me a frickin’ break here.. your lucky i even scheduled your ass to come in today.
clearly i’m not over this.
now, excuse me while I take this xanax with my malibu & pineapple.