That’s your emergency, not mine.

I love my job, I really do, and most of the time I really like my patients. I’ve mentioned before that I will go out of my way more often than not, to accomodate patient requests.
You want me to schedule that appointment for you… sure, i’ll do it.. Want me to pick up that CT scan CD on my way to work… sure, i’ll do that too. Would you like some coffee while you wait for the Dr? No, I don’t have any made, but i’ll make some if you’d like some… but call me on Wednesday, request and appointment for Thursday, and then demand surgery on Friday..

Wait a damn minute, who do you think I am here? Look, I can do all sorts of things, I can make appointments, and schedule surgeries, I can even beg your insurance to give an auth for something, but I can’t clear the OR schedule or the anesthesia teams sschedule so you can get your gallbladder taken out 1.5 days after you called to make an appointment.

or

maybe I can

I’m good. I’m so damn good I made that happen. Yup. Patient called on Wednesday, got an appointment for Thursday, and I even begged the OR scheduler to schedule the surgery for Friday, bc ill be damned if I’m going to listen to someone cry on the phone bc I couldn’t get their surgery scheduled.

 

side note: this is an established patient. this would not normally happen. My Dr. is supercalafragalisticexpealladocious THOROUGH –usually there is a work up to be done, blah blah blah..but the patient was recently in the hospital and already had the full workup. I really can’t clear the OR schedule, or the anesthesia teams schedule. this patient just got lucky. …. 

but seriously,

 

side note number two: I really don’t love myself that much that i just wrote an entire post talking about how awesome I am. this whole event stressed me out. I don’t do people that are all, “ZOMGGGGGGG IM IN SOMUCHPAINICANTEVENFUNCTIONNNNNNNN … PLEASEEEE SCHEDULE ME TODAYYYYYYYY”  They stress me out.  Plus, gallbladder symptoms are so googlable I have a hard time really believe people are in as much pain as they say they are. They know JUST the right things to say. (such a pessimist). “Why yes Dr. it does hurt in my right upper quadrant”   “Oh, and yes, it does radiate towards my back.”  “And y’know, now that you mention it, greasy foods do exacerbate the problem.”  

Thank-you Dr. Google & Wikipedia.

I wrote this to get it out of my system. i actually wanted to cry & laugh simultaneously while this patient was here. they were all up in my face about this,that & the other. I can only do so much. i dont know what the OR schedule is, and no I don’t know how late pre-op sees patients, and i’ve never heard of the Anesthesia team seeing someone after 5. and no, for heavens sake you can’t skip pre-op, what world do you live in?  give me a frickin’ break here.. your lucky i even scheduled your ass to come in today.

clearly i’m not over this.

now, excuse me while I take this xanax with my malibu & pineapple.

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7 thoughts on “That’s your emergency, not mine.

  1. Rough day at work? Sometimes I’m kind of glad that my job doesn’t have much human element to it. I bet that patient is super thankful that you could help.

  2. Heres my gallbladder story – I had the surgery scheduled for a Wednesday to take my gallbladder out when I was 15 – but then it ended up coming out as an emergency procedue on the Monday before.. I got lucky haha – but I didnt google any symptoms, I just felt like them a mo-fo. And the docs drove me nuts about it because the normal “triggers” or whatever werent even on my radar – no greasy foods, etc.

    Anyway, as a parent who spends a lot of time in doctors offices Ive seen quite a few of those bothersome patients. Now, I dont like to think Im a bothersome parent-patient, but I do give trouble when trouble is due 😉 Only when it is something that the doctor/office SHOULD be doing rather than what I WANT them to be doing.

    Kudos to you for dealing with that crap regularly.

    • We’ve had a few patients who have none of the regular symptoms – they think it’s totally unrelated but after testing find out it’s their gallbladder. I believe that some people are in pain, but I think some people exaggerate or what not because they think that will get them into the OR sooner.

      I don’t mind helping patients, obviously, if I did, i sure as hell wouldn’t be in the job I’m in. I don’t like for patients to be up in my face about things. The patient called on Wednesday, wanting an appt for Thursday, and surgery on Friday. I could understand if they had called 3 weeks ago and i just now fit them in on thursday.. but that wasn’t the situation. I was just totally irked by all of the demands. I’m only one person and I have zero control over what happens with the hospital.

  3. Wow…sounds like a great day in the office! 😉

    At the very least you made me thoroughly appreciate my slacker job where the biggest issue I have to deal with is dry bagels or a mis-made sandwich. Its really quite easy to give away free food to make someone slightly less pissy!

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