The truth is: running….

I don’t think I need to tell you that my vacation is getting closer as the hours go on.

Today was a little bit of a tough day. Here’s the thing: Working for a Surgeon is great. I really love my job. I’ve met a lot of great people, and learned a lot in the year I’ve been there. The problem with working for this surgeon, it’s not so much a problem I guess… but, I’ve said it before, he specializes in patients with cancer. He does surgery for other reasons as well, but the majority of his patients have some type of cancer.

Let’s just say that cancer sucks. Patient’s dying sucks even worse. bleh.

BUT THEN:

It happened. My day got better… okay, actually, this happened before I found out about the patient, but that’s just a minor detail. ..anyways.. it happened. the UPS lady showed up in my office. and guess what she brought me??

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Mama Pea’s new cook book, Peas and thank you! “Oh my peas!” I’m excited!

and then. just when I thought it couldn’t get any better.  I went downstairs to check the mail, and I got this:

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well. that’s a picture of both books, but I also got Tina’s book, Carrots ‘n’ cake. Yippee!

I already started reading Mama Pea’s book. I’m only into the introductory, but so far so good!

After work today I went to Target to pick up more crap for our trip. The list is never-ending, and I keep thinking of stuff that I need to get. ugh. I love the book section in Target! They always have tons of new books and my lust-o-meter goes crazy in there!

book collage

writing down book titles and authors takes way to long, so I take pictures of all the books I want to read. Then I can add them to my “to read” list….which is long, and I’ll never get around to reading the majority of them. The problem is that the county I live in apparently doesn’t believe in ordering new books. Most of those books will never make it into the library, meaning I have to buy them. I don’t really like buying books ,but I guess I will need to if I want to read. I know I can ask the library to borrow from another county- but that requires going into the library –which has weird hours, and requesting that the borrow it from somewhere else… annoying.

On my drive home I was thinking about running. Running has been a real struggle lately… heck, it’s been a struggle since March. The truth is, I don’t want to run. I mean, I do… but at the same time I don’t. The only thing that keeps me running is this blog, and the fact that I signed up for a November half-marathon. Running leads to a bunch of frustration, like achy knees for days afterwards. I don’t like not being able to walk around with out pain. I don’t like not being able to sleep because my knees are so achy. — My feelings are so mixed up, and confusing. It’s hard to know whether I’m just making excuses (aching knees) or if I legit need a break from it all. – You might be thinking  I need a break. Trust me, I think the same thing. The number one reason I don’t take a break (besides the blog)……..weight gain……………………………………………………….

There. I said it. I’m scared.to.death that I will gain more weight. I already weigh more now than I did in March before my stupid knee started really acting a fool. You might be thinking that I could take a break from running and cross-train. Yes, that’s true. However, cross-training also irritates my knee. Right now, at this point, any activity where I have to squat or lunge hurts my knee. Picking things up off the floor is a PITA.. off the bottom shelf at the grocery store, ugh.

I’m sure I’ve written this same blog before. I’m just writing out my feelings and trying to make sense of the things that are going through my head. I enjoy the feeling that running gives me. A sense of accomplishment. I love that great sweat you get from a good hard run. Those are also things that keep me running.

That said. I will continue to run this week, and see what I can do next week while we are on vacation. If my knees don’t straighten up I’ll probably go back to the Doctor. This pain that I’m having now is not like the other two times I had pain. LOL. I’ll have every type of knee pain before it’s all said and done, I guess.

Daily work out

After the internal battle I had with myself I came home and ran on the treadmill. I couldn’t decide on a distance so I just covered the display and ran until the music started getting boring OR my knees started to tighten up.

I made it 3.5 miles, in 32:33, or 9:18 pace before my knees started tightening up and my cell phone kept ringing. The run was pretty good. I could have gone further if I would have stretched at 3.5 miles, but I needed to get dinner going so it seemed like a good stopping point. I’m happy with it.

I’ve already come to terms with the fact that my half-marathon in November will not be a PR. I think I’m okay with that. I’m obviously not having the most successful training right now. Maybe this is the wrong attitude to have but I don’t expect it to get much better between now & November. I suppose it’s possible, but I’m not holding my breath.

Enough of that depressing talk. Let’s watch a fun video!

This is a compilation of pictures and video footage from several fishing trips and our scalloping trip last weekend. You can see how we dive down to get scallops. I’m holding the bright yellow mesh bag with pink bikini bottoms on. — The music is kind of loud, so you might want to turn down your sound a little…..

Life is worth living, no matter what.

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5 thoughts on “The truth is: running….

  1. I hope that running starts working out for you again soon. I can totally understand where you’re coming from, my last year or so of running has been my most difficult and injury filled ever and I have found myself having some of the same feelings that you mentioned.

    Hopefully after a vacation you have a renewed outlook on running and maybe happier knees.

  2. I love to read! I actually order my books used on amazon.com. You can buy books for as cheap as 50 cents on amazon, you pay for shipping, but it’s usually less than the cost of 1 book. I just bought 2 Kristin Hannah book for less than $8 including shipping! When you browse the used books, I buy from the top seller to ensure that I get the book. I’ve been buying for about 3 years, and haven’t had a bad experience yet!

    Good luck on the running…my last blog was about running and knees too! It’s annoying for sure!

    • Thanks for the tip! I just joined amazon so I’ll have to check out some used books on there! I love a good deal on a book.

  3. I have a ton of Jennifer Weiner novels, she is my favorite author. I have just about every book EXCEPT for Certain Girls, go figure! I DO have Jennifer Crusie’s Tell Me Lies though. So don’t buy any, you can borrow mine!

    I’ve definitely been there with the running. I backed out of that 1/2 in March because of severe running burn-out. I backed off and didn’t run for a couple weeks and just enjoyed doing CrossFit instead. I hope you are able to find your mo-jo again soon!

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